The day was beautiful and the song birds flew wild against the dark backdrop of sky. Freddie sat on the steps of the community center wondering what had become of Lucy. He stared at the strip of water that was laid out before him. Feeling the cool stone underneath his fingertips he felt his mind drifting instead of listening to the friends he was surrounded by. All he heard was chattering in the background, but he knew his friends should be used to him drifting off by now. The club was dark and crowded, and Freddie panicked when he couldn’t find Lucy anywhere, his heart raced and he saw her dancing with other guys with what he knew to be her 7th drink in hand. He flew over to her obviously outraged on how her current behavior was embarrassing him at their local club. He remembered her blond hair over his shoulder as he threw her over his shoulders, her cries for help only angering him further. As he carried her up the stairs to their first brought flat, he placed her on the bed and walked into the bathroom, not paying attention to her sobs and apologizes from the other room. Of course she would get to drunk and not be able to carry her own weight, he thought out raged. "Freddie, why won’t you answer me?" he heard Lucy mumble in her drunken state. He was beyond upset and had no intention to answer her question; instead he continued walking around the bathroom to get his bath ready. He heard Lucy mumbling in the other room, but in his rage continued what he was doing. "Lucy I am going to come and get you in a while okay." he screamed from the other room. After hearing a thud in the other room, which sounded like a bag of potatoes falling to the floor, he ran to the other room as fast as his legs would carry him running into the other room he saw Lucy on the floor shaking uncontrollably. He scooped her body off the floor and carried her to the bathroom, placing her inside the tub and running water over her heated body. Hugging her lifeless body, and becoming drench in water he walked over to his phone, he dialed the number; he never thought he would have to. The wind dried the streak of water that caressed his face, and he stones that were once cool, felt warm and clammy to his touch. “Freddie, did you hear me?” Chris asked, as all his other friends stared at him bewildered by how face became red and blotched in the matter of minutes. Getting up, Freddie followed behind the rest, wanting to get this day over with already.
Nicely done....I love how you use his friends to transition.
ReplyDelete10/10
Great work! The transitions are beautifully executed and your details are strong. The purpose of this flashback definitely enhanced the characters and was extremely significant to the passage. Nicely done!