I stared at myself in the mirror, my gray eyes looking cloudier than usual. I sat on the toilet and felt my eyes beginning to sting, but the tears I cried were not worth it. Bringing the blade to my arm, I slowly started dragging it slowly across my skin, but instead of feeling a sharp pain, I felt joy watching as the blood trickled down my arm. The smell of rusting iron caught my nose but I invited it in. I continued until I heard a loud knock on the door.
“ Scarlett, I need to use the bathroom, you freak!” my older brother yelled. I knew I was a freak.
“HURRY UP.” he yelled becoming impatient and banging his fist on the door.
I quickly hid the blade in between toilet paper and shoved it in my pocket, turned on the faucet, and let the water run over the newly formed cut. Making sure there was no evidence left I opened the door and stormed past my screaming brother.
Looking around my dark room, I placed the blade underneath my bed and stared at my new cut. It matched all the other ones, but it was slightly darker and not as old. Walking around my room, my eyes came upon the picture of the person that started this all for me. His beautiful jade colored eyes and smile mocked me. I wanted to tear the picture up, but I didn’t because I always wanted to be able to see those eyes whenever my heart longed for it. I walked back to my bed, laid down and closed my eyes to see the scene that haunted ,
He stood there his lovely eyes staring over at me. Our hands were intertwined, and we just stood looking around not talking, just staring into one another eyes because they told everything. Then suddenly these strangers came and surrounded us. They yelled at us that we didn’t belong together, and that our love could never work, but to us love had no color. Suddenly the one in the back who shouted the most took out his knife. Then I blocked out what happened next, all I remember was running and then realizing to late that our hands were no longer together.
Sighing, I opened my eyes and reached for the journal, knowing I had to write to get this off my mind or I would end up harming myself again,
Your beautiful jade eyes torment me and they shouldn’t because I didn’t know that our hands weren't together anymore. I feel weak now every time I see your picture, and not weak in a good way. Every time I see your picture its as if your blaming me, for being weak and running away.
I couldn’t write anymore because nothing made sense. The emotional pain was enough but I needed to feel the physical pain. Truth is, I just wanted to feel something again. Going under my bed I pulled out blade and observed it. I knew it wasn’t going to be hard anymore. The last thing I remember seeing was swirls of red, and those beautiful jade eyes that haunted me. The only thing left to do was wait, I would see them again. I wasn’t scared anymore, and if I were to die from going to far I would welcome it like my old friend.
Reflection:
What I have learned from the work shopping process would be that it is always good to let other writers read over your work. It is also beneficial to read over your work countless amount of times to check for any errors and to make sure that your point is being crossed over to the readers who are going to potentially read over your work. I also learned that through this process your story can reach its full meaning if you see how others respond to it because they can also help you check for grammar errors and tell you what points in your story they struggle to understand.
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